#bc i do a lot of verbal stimming on and off call

[insoscreativedump]

.

[gaymerasmus]

OMG UR REQS R OPEN!

Can I request a tf2 matchup pls?

I apologise in advance, this is a long one.

Physical appearance:

- I’m not tall [*cough*like5’1*cough*] | I’m a bloody stick, some average meat but I’m still a lanky lil shit.

- Short undercut brunette hair with [somewhat emo] right-sweeping bangs, they naturally sweep left but look fluffier when swept right.

- I am in fact, whiter than sour-cream with very-very light freckles on my face, you gotta be CLOSE to see them.

- I have weird, blue-ish/green-ish/grey eyes. I swear I’ll never know their real colour because they pull a one-two-switcheroo depending on lighting.

- I wear big, thick-lensed, thin black-frame glasses and due to my rapidly declining eyesight I am practically blind without them.

- My right eyebrow has a slit cause I got bored, but I like it and it’s staying (and a piercing bc I can)

- I have size 10[?] gauges [/stretchers, whatever you call the things that stretch your earring holes], I plan to go bigger.

- I tend to wear a lot of black clothing and I have a very punk/alt/emo/grunge style. That, or I’ll look like a dad in cargo shorts and an over shirt thats given up.

About me:

- Trans guy | He/Him pronouns | Preferred name is Corvinn | Gay

- Aussie, very prominent accent, have been mistaken for a Brit because of ‘how I speak’ [I cuss more than a sailor]?

- Diagnosed with A.D.H.D., anxiety, depression and high functioning A.S.D. [that’s the main shit, the combination also causes insomnia lol] | Excess stimulation causes overloads and makes me temporarily non-verbal | My brain gets overly bored if there’s a lack of stimulation | I don‘t know SL because I started having non-verbal episodes in 8th grade. I’ll communicate using my phones notes app, tts or a very confusing game of charades | Stims include; flappy hands when emotionally overwhelmed, rapid leg bouncing when I’m anxious/focusing/listening to music, playing with my/the ear lobes of a person I trust for comfort | I twitch on occasion, I don’t think it’s serious; just painful-ish head/neck/shoulder jerks and non-painful leg/arm jerks accompanied by a grunt/verbal tic [I mainly squeak]/strained face | I have a bad habit of apologising/excusing myself after I twitch | Mental health is poor but I’m trying to get better and I think I’m heading in the right direction.

- Extremely self-conscious of my voice [think it’s too high] and height:(

- Self-taught aspiring artist of 8/9 years now | I do both digital and physical art | Tend to be more digital | When I do physical art it’s mostly sketching and watercolours | Plan to become a body artist in future.

- I’m easily excitable, but I’m told it’s annoying so I try not to but then that kind of leads to me not showing any outward emotion which also upsets people.

- I can sew and I own a sewing machine | Fun fact, I wanted to be a cosplayer when I was younger. Settling for a show-off in my textiles class [friend of mine’s a model/influencer and I’m gonna turn them into dress-up doll lmao].

- I was raised on shit like Korn, SlipKnot and LimpBizkit- I gotta fight to stay awake when metal is playing in the car.

- Favourite colour is all of them.

- I wanna get more piercings; left lower-lip, septum, and venoms.

- My Dad doesn’t think I can sing but a bunch of people have said otherwise. I’m currently at the point where I have no stage but I must sing.

Interests:

- I’m interested in textile practices.

- The Walten Files

- Marble Hornets

- Creepypasta

- Slasher films

- Hazbin Hotel/Heluva Boss

- DSMP

- Horror and paranormal shit

- ARG’s [I suck, but I enjoy watching others]

- FNAF [here since 2016, will cause physical altercations if opposed]

- All of animation YouTube

- Video essays on weird and obscure shit.

- Beloved YouTube blorbos include; CJ the X, Grayson projects, HarleyTBS, Izzzyzzz, Quinton Reviews, Chad Chad, LS Mark, Danny Gonzalez, Drew Goodeen, Mama Max, Nexpo, Manlybadasshero, Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, Neytirix, Noah Finnce, The Click, Sagan Hawkes, Pagan Valley, Wendigoon, Strange æons, Super Eyepatch Wolf, TFIL, Game Theory, TomSka, Pyrocynical, and many more.

- True crime

- Current main hyperfixation; MCR.

- According to 2021’s Spotify wrapped, my top genres were; #1 - Emo | #2 - Otacore | #3 - Metalcore | #4 DreamSMP[???] | #5 - Indie Pop | I think my music taste currently lies in punk/punk rock, modern rock, metal, emo, ska, and a lil bit of vocaloid.

- I love animals. I used to have a pure black cat, he ded now tho:(

- Video games.

Dislikes:

- Seafood

- Rumours

- Twitter drama [unless someone like TRO is feeding it to me in form of a video essay], if I have to hear about one more person being cancelled by a random group of 13 year old white girls over literally nothing I am going to flip my shit😀

- Country/opera/classical music [to be fair, I’ll listen to classical but it just sends me to sleep, it’s too slow for me, sorry]

- Trolls [I’m fine when it’s harmless and all in good fun but when it gets toxic is where I draw the line]

- And a lot of fandoms I refuse to name because they are really toxic and will stop at nothing to find me🚪🏃‍♂️💨🧍‍♂️

Sorry this is so long, hope it’s okay. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, no pressure! Anyway, it’s super la- early. I’m going to bed. Have a nice [insert time here]. Also, thanks and remember to take care of yourself!

Hullo hullo welcome and thank you!! You are paired with...

Demoman!!

Honestly this one was a really close call, but when I really thought about it I couldn't get Mr. Explodey Man out of my head. He sees you as super passionate and well rounded, both qualities he can appreciate! This man comes from a very straightforward and strict upbringing, so having your radiant personality and look nearby is honestly pretty refreshing for him.

I can see your dynamic including a lot of hurt/comfort influences, as well as some partners in crime and like a little friends to lovers vibe. He's very much an optimist and loves keeping your spirits up! He understands a lot of what you're going through (*coughs*t4t*coughs*) so expect a lot of advice and validating comments. Definitely tries to get you into some mischievous activities when bored, trouble is this guy's middle name (it's actually Finnegan). That's not to say he doesn't mind lounging about the house, learning about one of your interests through videos you watch or just listening to you ramble. He might fall asleep on you if you're not careful tho.

Demoman is also a very adaptable man. He's been around and seen a lot in his time, so he comes perfectly prepared for nearly everything you may need from him. It does surprise him at first when exposed to your stims and tics, but only for a moment! He finds stims that show your trust endearing, and certainly doesn't mind getting anything you need if you're having a bad day. He definitely seems like the type to catch on to what the different stims mean pretty quick. If he notices you're getting anxious he may subtly rest a hand on your leg, or lead you away from an area until you're no longer overstimulated. Once he learns about your non-verbal bouts he always keeps a pen and notepad nearby. Just very subtle and gentle things that shows he cares because he really really does.

He also adores your music taste!! Very chaotic instrumentals and throaty singing gets him all kinds of hyped. He tries to pass that hype on to you and it works about 99% of the time. When you're both bouncing with energy he'll gladly take you out somewhere to burn energy (and cause trouble). The best thing about Tavish is that this man can make anything fun. Simple things like taking out the trash, running errands, even going on a quiet walk end up becoming your most cherished memories with him. He always hums a tune from songs you like when he picks up on you smiling more.

Expect to meet his mother!! I have a feeling he plays it a bit old school when it comes to relationships, so he'd absolutely insist upon you meeting her. He also just really loves his mom. When you're both ready he invites you to his (fucking huge) house for tea. He's very confident you'll hit it off right away! It starts slow, but once you mention your experience with textiles she beams. Having experience herself; she happily shows you some pieces she's made for her family and for her. She asks that you update her with anything you make in the future, so I think you can safely say she likes you. It makes demoman very happy to see you getting along.

To summarize; he absolutely adores your presence in his life. He'll try his absolute best to make you happy, and loves laughing with you about anything and everything. I hope you liked it!!

[cello-trash]

Some autistic Jack head canons I’ve been thinking about regarding Jacks acceptance of his autism

Bob and Alicia knew he was autistic from a very young age but don’t tell him out of a misplaced thought that he’ll be better off not knowing and that he could be “more normal” that way

They esp don’t want the press to find out bc god knows what headlines they’d write

so Jack grows up knowing he’s “different” bc of how other people treat him but not knowing why

He gets officially diagnosed right after his OD when he really starts going to therapy regularly but he feels like it’s just another thing that makes him “fucked up” so he tries to mask even harder

Jack is esp sensitive to noise and he can get overstimulated easily. This makes hockey games hard sometimes. Usually he’s so focused on the hockey he doesn’t even notice how loud the arena is, but sometimes his head buzzes and he gets so overwhelmed that afterwards he has to just lay in the dark not speaking or moving for hours after the game

When he’s home, Bitty lays on top of Jack like a weighted blanket which is one of jacks favorite things. Bitty will feed him finger food and have him drink water to make sure he’s physically fine while Jack is nonverbal

When it’s an away game Bitty gifts Jack Monsieur Bun and Jack runs his fingers over the little stuffed animal and it calms him down

Things get better for Jack when he stops thinking of autism as something that means he’s a fuck up

it’s actually bc of Bitty he realizes this. He sees just how much stim toys and accommodations help Bitty with ADHD but sees how ashamed Bitty is of using them and when he tries to convince Bitty to use them when he needs them Bitty raises an eyebrow and goes “I’ll do it if u also stop being ashamed Mr. Zimmermann” and Jack goes “…oh…”

Once Jack gets some stim toys he realizes that he’s actually been stimming his whole life to calm himself calm down when he’s overwhelmed: the way he’d rock back and forth on the bench, the way he’d chew on his mouth guard, the way he’d tap his thighs in repetitive patterns, etc.

As he starts to mask less he finds that sometimes he’ll verbally stim by reciting people’s hockey stats on the bench (he memorized the stats for most of the NHL when he was a kid but mostly these days it’s Bitty’s stats) or flap his hands around

When the press see him do this he doesn’t really respond and just stares at them blankly until they move on… he doesn’t really see how him being autistic is their business

That changes tho when some other NHL Player in their division starts campaigning for AutismSpeaks and all of a sudden Jack is checking this man really hard constantly and getting into little fights with him

Of course people notice and he gets asked about it at a press conference

And Jack goes “well he’s either an uninformed idiot who should look into the orgs he works with before he does or he’s a piece of shit who represents a piece of shit organization” and he goes on this rant about all the shitty things AutismSpeaks has done/advocated for

And when the press asks him why he knows so much about it he goes “bc I’m fucking autistic. Y’all always called me a hockey robot with no emotions I’m surprised it took you this long to figure it out.” And then he walks out of the press room

Bitty gives him the biggest hug and kisses afterwards and makes Jack his favorite pie (but not before they have hot sex)

Shitty calls him the next day and is like “bro I’m so sorry I called u a robot and made fun of u bro that was so ableist of me bro”

And Jack rolls his eyes and says “when the press called me an emotionless robot it always struck a nerve but with u it was always fond… u always stayed behind to explain jokes I didn’t get or play with my hair or whatever. U had my back and it was a joke… plus how do u know that I’m not actually a robot beep beep boop boop

Jack becomes an advocate for autism while he’s playing and then once he retires he does lots of fundraising and such

At first Bob and Alicia don’t get why he would want everyone to know that he’s autistic but after a serious talk with Jack they understand that they were thinking about it the wrong way. They were never malicious but they raised Jack during the peak of the “vaccine autism scare” and so subconsciously thought of autism as a curse

Jack jokes that thank god they didn’t actually understand that autism wasn’t a bad thing bc then they might have become Autism Parents tm and they’d have shitty puzzle piece tattoos

[whaleofatjme1920]

Can you please make scp 076, scp 1233 dr. Clef, dr. Kondraki with a Gn!Reader who is hyperactive and jumps around and also stims a lot (rocking back and forth, flapping hands, etc..)

076, 1233, Clef, and Kondraki with a Hyperactive SO

[GN!Reader]

[Warnings: Like, none?]

[AN: Sure can! I should also reiterate to whoever stumbles on this that SCP, Assassin's Creed and Darkwood are still kinda open and bypass the requests closed rule. That's just bc I don't get a lot of requests for the last two.]

076 - 2

I don't think he really minds your hyperactivity at all. He's not like, totally in love with the high energy but he's not mad at it either.

He just kinda sits back and watches you jump around, arms crossed with a small smile on his face.

The same thing happens with your stims unless you're like, causing harm to yourself. But if you're rocking back and forth, or flapping your hands, any noises, he barely pays them any attention. Just kinda "yeah that's my SO" with another small smile on his face.

He's a pretty chill guy. You bring in some levity into his life because let's face it, he's kind of a miserable jerk at times.

But you never fail to make him feel light and happy again.

1233

Alright it's been a while since I've had to talk about this skip, so apologies for the wonky characterization. BUT he's a gentleman through and through. And the energy he gives off is very, very similar to yours.

Has such a strong sense of justice and wants to protect you. If anyone gets on you for your stims or being hyperactive, he will not hesitate to put them in their place!

Does not tolerate people disrespecting you. He's kinda your protector now.

Gets just as excited as you and the two of you will be the epitome of tippy taps!

Gives me himbo energy. He is your himbo now.

Clef

Clef is a very tired, tired man. He acts sly and gets into general mischief to make people's day interesting and you are no exception. You actually like this behavior though and that confuses him but he likes it.

He finds your hyperactivity endearing. He can keep up with it, just won't? But that doesn't mean he's putting you down either.

Doesn't mind your stims, he probably has some of his own. Will also reprimand/mess with anyone who comments on any aspect of you as a person negatively.

Like 076, he lets you do your thing, crosses his arms over his chest and softly smiles in response.

He's your biggest supporter, an loves everything about you so deeply.

Kondraki

I get the vibe that Kondraki doesn't really favor high energy at all. Like, at all. Clef is high energy and he cannot stand the man. So having a high energy SO takes so adjusting but you're the only person he'd ever call it endearing for.

I feel he reels you in a lot from the hyperactivity. He's not high energy at all. Does weirdly high energy things, but like, that's it. You two sort of balance each other out.

Like everyone else here, does not mind your stims. Accepts that they happen.

He may or may not remind you to not jump around though? It's like a habit. He doesn't mean to lecture you like you're a child or anything, but it takes a while for that habit to break. He doesn't actually mind, but the verbal habit-.

When I mean you're the only person he finds endearing for this I mean legitimately only you. You are the outlier.

[ask-the-clergy-bc]

Sorry if this is a strange ask, but how would the papas react to an s/o who as tourettes syndrome. Since this is kinda a weird ask I'll let you know that if you have any questions you can ask me bc I have tourettes

Not strange at all! <3 Thank you for proofing this for me! 

For this prompt I went with different symptoms and types of tics, as no two people with Tourette Syndrome are ever alike. Some might come off as more severe than others, but I wanted to write for a wide variety to relate to. The only thing I tried to steer clear from was the stereotypical over the top coprolalia, or “People with Tourette only cuss uncontrollably” trope. Hope you enjoy! 

Papa Nihil: Funnily enough, your relationship had accidentally started because of your whistling! The Grand Papa had been passing you in the hallways when you let out, what sounded to be, an impressed whistle at the older man. Nihil had turned to you and you had apologized and tried to explain why you had done so. But Nihil had raised a hand and told you not to ever explain yourself. He lightened the mood by saying how flattered he would have been. You definitely caught Nihil’s eye, as he found you to be a very attractive and a charming individual. You two became incredibly close, and he rarely seemed to acknowledge your involuntary whistles or lip popping. Instead, when you made a whistle of approval, he always made the same tired joke. “I hope your sexy whistling at ME, Caro Mio!” With an exaggerated wink and grin. 

Papa I: There has only ever been one conversation Papa has had with you regarding your tics, brought up by you on an off day. Papa, even before you were a couple, didn’t seem to ever acknowledge when you parroted his words or found yourself stuck in a repetition. You often found yourself incorporating words and phrases he uses in private and during sermon during your day. Once, during a very frustrating afternoon, you felt self conscious during Mass when Papa was conducting. When trying to suppress it, you found yourself still loudly echoing your beloved and just couldn’t stop. Even though everyone was always courteous and supportive, that didn’t mean you couldn’t be frustrated with yourself. After mass you had made a passing comment that perhaps you should just start watching videos in a separate room to not disturb anyone. Papa turned on you so fast it nearly scared you! He looked you dead in the eyes and said, “you have a place in the chapel as everyone else. Do not ever think you deserve to be excluded.” That said, you knew your Papa was always behind you- even on bad days. 

Papa II: While it was never a problem, you had always been curious on why Papa never reacts to your physical tics. You had a tendency for blinking very often, tossing your head, or just coughing at the most awkward times. But Papa barely blinked, like you weren’t doing these things at all. As refreshing as it was, as you were used to at least a curious stare or look of silent understanding, it didn’t mean you weren’t curious! One day when he was working you finally stopped to ask why he never seemed to acknowledge your tics. He had stopped writing to look up, setting his pen down and lifting an eyebrow. “Am I… expected to react? Would you have me gawk at you every time you did it?” It was a little blunt, per his style, but you knew what Papa’s point was. He gave you a soft look and went back to his papers. “I would eat this stack of papers before I ever looked at you like you were different.”  

Papa III: Oftentimes Papa unintentionally finds himself echoing YOU! While he doesn’t do it out of malice  he has his own tics when he’s got a lot of energy or stress. Truthfully, Papa doesn’t even realize he is mimicking some of your tics until you pointed it out, deeply amused by it! What was funnier about the whole situation is that you had recently picked up a meme you would verbally recite at random. Papa had started to unconsciously repeat it out loud at random moments after hearing you do it for a week. Something he hadn’t noticed, as he had his fair share of verbal stims. To hear your Papa say a meme in his funny, old man Papa way had sent you into hysterics! It wasn’t until you calmed down from laughing that you told him he had been copying your meme. Papa had a good laugh about it too. He’s called you a trendsetter ever since! 

Papa IV/Cardinal Copia: When you first started seeing each other Copia was aware of your physical tics, but not necessarily the extent of how severe they could become. This has NEVER been a problem, mind you, but it did startle him on only one occasion. One of your tics used to manifest as jerking your leg or arms and slapping onto yourself or the table. During a particularly active day you swung your arm very fast into the table, making a loud BANG! Though Copia is not one to give help unless asked, he had jumped out of his seat! Copia panicked because he thought you accidentally got hurt during this time (because let’s face it, he never does well when his beloved is sick or injured.) You assured your nervous partner that you were absolutely fine- that it sounded more painful than it actually was! Copia, to say the least, was absolutely relieved. He definitely does his best to not react to loud sounds if you accidentally end up hitting yourself, as Copia does not want to be like an overprotective dad. He’s your partner and you don’t need him to fuss over you, after all!

[babysizedfics]

the first time vee regressed in therapy (and meeting michael after)

NOTE: this is almost 2k words... so it continues under the cut. No TWs!

for the first few sessions of vees therapy with dr picani, patton is in the room with them because of vee's selective mutism, so patton hung around to help translate for vee during seasions until she is able to speak for herself, and thru these firsts sessions emile sees how attached the two are to each other

and after about three or four weeks, once vee can reliably talk for herself, patton stil sits in the waiting room so if vee needs him he's there

im their first session without patton, emile actually prompts vee to tell him what she calls her uncle patton. she says "patton" but emile is like do u not call him uncle? and she hesitates bc she definitely doesnt call him uncle but she hates lying

and emile smiles knowing that she doesnt. then he asks "are there any other names you call your uncle, vee?" because unbeknown to vee, emile actually heard her call patton "dad" one day in the waiting room

she is made rlly nervous by this question but emile assures her he isnt trying to trick her or anything, he just wants her to be honest. and after some more coaxing she whispers that she calls patton "dad" and emile is like thats lovely

and suddenly vee is teary and panicky because shes scared emile is being sacastic or will quiz her about it, but he insists that its very nice that she is comfy calling patton that and that they are so close and it makes vee feel a lot safer

but that prompts emile to start asking her about her biological father, janus. has she ever called him dad or was he always janus? does she know why that is?

vee really tries her best to stay calm and answer, but the questions suddenly get too much and before she knows it virgil goes non-verbal bc she realises she is starting to regress

emile notices vee's distress and changes his voice like softer and more clear. he asks what is wrong, he assures her they dont need to talk about anything vee doesnt want to talk about. Can you breathe with me? Good thank you, can you talk? No thats alright you dont have to. Is there anything he can do to make her feel safe?

and the soft caring words just push vee compeltely into half regression and she starts fully crying, tears spilling down her cheeks and shaky breaths and little squeaks and sniffles and tightly cuddling her softie she took with her (a lilac octopus, dr violet)

after a couple minutes of just crying and emile givinf her some space to let it out, the tears arent slowing down. so she cries " i w-wan pa-p-p-..." giving up after she realises her voice is definitely little now

"what do you want, vee?" emile prompts so so kindly that it just makes vee's chest ache

she whimpers "w-wan papa" and trails off in sobs

and emile instantly knows she means patton. he very easily rolls with this infantile behaviour, being a child therapist a lot of the time. he just sees her acting like a toddler and he immediately thinks okay time to turn on the toddler therapy, no questions asked

emile stands up carefully and speaks clear and gentle "okay vee. dr picani is leaving for just a moment to get your papa, okay? I'll be back very soon" and vee just squeaks through her tears, so he hurries out to the waiting room to fetch patton

pat literally jumps from his seat when emile calls him in saying vee is upset and practically runs through the corridor and into the office. he immediately pulls her into a one armed cuddle on the couch while emile just closes the door rlly gentle for privacy and hands a box of tissues to patton. so patton softly shushes his baby and wipes her tears away while emile takes quick notes in his book

patton is rlly quietly shushing her and comforting her, trying to be discreet. emile notices that this is obviously a common occurence, and also notices that patton seems to be holding back something

so when patton looks up briefly and catches emiles gaze, emile just smiles and speaks softly "do you know what age regression is, patton?"

and patton breathes a massive sigh of relief and hugs vee tighter "yeah... yeah we do"

and emile nods and smiles a little sympathetic looking back at vee and patton jumps right back to comforting her, not trying to be discreet this time, going full papa mode now that he has the confirmation that emile knows about regression

patton lifts a still crying vee into his lap and cuddles her to his chest and rocks her. "its alright, baby, shh shhh, papas got you" (vee still crying and grabbing pattons shirt tightly) "i know i know, baby, youre ok"

then emile adds in softly "youre doing very well vee" and patton smiles at him then repeats for vee "did you hear dr picani? he said youre doing sooo well! youre so so brave, hunnybunny"

and eventually when vee is comforted enough and the tears have stopped, emile raises his eyebrows questioningly at patton and pat talks to vee: "vee, are you ready to talk to dr picani again?"

she whimpers and grips patton tighter. "its okay babygirl, papas not going anywhere..." patton hesitstes and looks up at emile a little worried "uh, as long as thats alright with dr picani"

emile nods and smiles softly when vee peeks over her softie at him "of course. you can do whatever you want vee, if having your dad - or your papa here makes you feel safer then of course he can stay. would you like patton to stay so you can feel safer?"

vee doesnt respond but frowns and hides behind dr violet again, and emile looks to patton

patton explains gently "we need simpler language than that for her when she's regressed."

"oh my apologies..." emile starts, then tries again. "Vee?" he waits for vee to lower her softie from her eyes again to show shes listening. "Do you still want your papa?"

vees shoulders are tensed and shes hugging her softie so tight, still hiding partially behind it, but she nods a little

and so they continue with patton in the room

throughout the session she is REALLY shy of emile in this headspace but emile is just rly gentle and treats her like an actual young child while she sits in pattons lap and tries to interact with him, so emile manages to coax some stuff from her. and is shocked to find that this seems to be a headspace that actuslly allows vee to be more open and honest with him even if her language is limited

he asks her how does she feel right now? its okay if she doesnt know. is she scared? thats okay, it is very scary. she's being so brave. but is papas lap soft and warm? thats very nice! does it make her feel safe? does it help her tears go away? well thats good to hear, we dint want you to be sad. do you love papa? Can you show me how much? Woah that's a lot!!

and once vee has calmed down a lot and giggled a little at how nice dr picani is being to her, emile sees vee start to suck her thumb

unfortunately its not sanitary for her to suck her thumb in oublic since she must have touched surfaces, and pat brings her thumb away and desperately apologizes when vee whines and starts tearing up when papa wont let her suck her thumb. she dorsnt have her pretty paci so what else is she meant to do!

then emile announces in a very babytak voice. "vee, can you guess what I have in my desk drawer? Haha No, not frogs. Look!" and he pulls out a handful of lollipops! all different colours! and vee starts bouncign a little on papas lap and smiling

with a quick check that she has no allergies (egg, but there aint no egge in lollipops) emile lets her pick a flavor/color then givs it to her to suck on

patton needs to hold it for her though in case she accidentally swallows it, so her lil hands are just holdin gently on papas hand as he holds the lollipop for her and her legs are swingin, dangling down from papas lap bc she happy stims when she is eatin sweets by kicking her feet!

nearing the end of the session emile tells vee how good ahe's been answering al his questions and being well behaved for her papa. so he lets her pick a sticker to prove how good she was today!

but she doesn't want to touch the sticky or have it one her pretty dress, so patton asks her to point to her favourite and papa can pick it up for her. but shes too shy to pick one

so papa chooses one for her, a puffy pink kitty, then puts it on his nose to make her giggle. shes shy abt giggling in front of emile and buries her face on papas shoulder and patton cradles her head and coos and emile just watches all of this rly softly

and then their time is up and patton smiles and pats vee's leg and asks if she wants to be carried and she shakes her head with a proud smile. patton gasps "are you gonna be a big girl and walk on your own?"

then vees smile drops and she whines and grabs pats hand and patton giggles "no no not completely on your own. paps gonna hold your hand baby" so she nods and they get up with patton holding her hand

then patton says goodbye to emile and thanks him for being so kind to vee, and emile says "my pleasure. i'll see you next week vee!"

vee squeezes her papas hand and shuffles behind him a little. but she waves her softies tentacle at emile to say goodbye and emile smiles and waves to them "byebye dr violet, make sure you keep vee safe and happy this week!" and vee giggles and patton leads her outside

in the waiting room vee is much more closed off because theres the receptionist and a couple other clients in there so she just keeps her eyes down while papa signs them out - then she hears a slightly deep voice say "oh, I really like your stuffie"

vee doesnt really know how to react, she looks up a little and sees dark blue jeans and thick legs and vans sneakers but then quickly tugs pattons hand and steps behind him to hide from the stranger

"Thank you! It was a 'well done for going to therapy' gift from me" patton says cheerfully, and vee starts stroking his fingers as a comfort stim

"aw that's sweet!" the stranger says just as joyful as patton... so vee feels okay looking up now that she knows this stranger wasnt trying to make fun of her

she only catches some shaggy brown hair and a tshirt with what looks like a horror film image on it that she doesnt recognise. she doesnt dare make eye contact but she can tell the stranger is smiling at her

and she cant talk, shes too little, but shes not little enough to not understand whats happening. so she lets go of pattons hand bruefly to sign "thank you" then quickly grabs his hand again, feeling her cheeks warm and looking back to the ground

"you're welcome!" the stranger says, still happy, so vee smiles a little, then tugs pattons hand and looks up at him pleadingly

patton is beaming, his cheeks bunched in the biggest smile. "ready to go, sweetie?" vee nods "okay, here we go. It was lovely meeting you..."

"michael!"

"michael" patton smiles and holds out his other hand to shake michaels hand. "im patton and this is vee! have a good night!"

"you too, patton!" michael bids as patton and vee start walking away. then the voice soeaks again "bye vee!"

vee doesnt respond but she smiles and pulls dr violet up to hide it

patton leads her out to the parking lot and as he buckles her seatbelt for her he presses a big kiss to her cheek "im so so proud of you, babygirl"

and the whole ride home patton speaks softly and recaps what was good about theraoy this week. he does it to reinforce with vee that this is a good thing to do.

he talks about how lovely dr picani was and how he already knew what regression was. he talks about how funny his jokes were and how much she giggled. and her lollipop and her sticker - which they just realised was still on pattons nose and laughed about. and he talked about the lovely boy in the waiting room who liked vee's softie!

and the whole time vee is smiling and giggling and blushing and getting closer to full regression so that when they get home vee is just a bouncy wiggly giggly baby all night

[demki-kaninari]

leon headcanons + ishileon bc I love them

- leon has autism. that’s it

-and he doesn’t like stimming infront of people (i hc him with a lot of verbal stims eg ‘ba ba ba’) but taka finds them adorable

- leon never wears his hair down, but when he does taka is all over it, like,, tying it in pigtails or stuff like that.

- when taka is stressed with politics and stuff leon will just pull his seat back and sit on his lap to calm him down

- leon has a lot of mood swings,, taka just sits there and watches him scream that he wants to watch the world burn

-then the next second he’d by crying in takas arms

- he. WEARS. EYELINER

- you better believe that he uses he/they

- he still likes baseball, and he used to go to games regularly,, but he quit to persue music

- and he takes taka to practice

- and he sits there and watches his himbo bf have the time of his life

- he’s very competitive with games

- he threatened to kill chihiro’s entire family because he was winning at some game

- he is a pansexual bitch

- he still has to put up with kanon

- and taka gets VERY possessive

- kanon is scared of leons crazy hall monitor bf

- he always quotes old memes

- like,, he always says him and taka aren’t friends because “there’d be two pretty best friends and that’s not right”

- one night after quitting baseball he had a nightmare about his execution, which gave him a fear of baseballs

- he sometimes crossdresses, but not like chihiro,, he just thinks skirts are neat

- he managed to convince mondo to wear one once

- he used to flirt with his friends a lot (as a joke yknow,, as u do) but stopped after he found out taka didn’t like it

- yknow them bracelets were u tap it and the other person wearing one can feel it, yeah him and taka def have them

- like,, 3 taps is ‘I love you’ and they just do it randomly

- he is in denial about hiro being his dad, but he is

- has accidentally called him dad once

- like,, he was giving leon food or something and he just accidentally says “thanks dad”

- “ur welcome son”

- and leon just books it

- he drops his food and just runs

- he has platform boots and no one can tell me otherwise

- he managed to get taka a peircing!!,

- one of those stud earring so he could hide it

- but he never takes it off. ever

- his entire playlist is mother mother

yeah I’m conking off for the night lol

[dontasktheradiodemon]

❌ So yesterday night Alastor invited over a guest to cook dinner for.

❌ I could tell the second she arrived because I could hear frigging "Be Our Guest" start up in the lobby.

❌ I tried to avoid that whole scene, but from down a hall I definitely spotted a shadow-thing juggling dishes.

❌ He rewrote the lyrics. I didn't catch all of them, but I did hear "Can they sing? Who can tell! After all, doll, this is Hell!"

❌ If you're on the fence about checking into the hotel and you're a musical theater fan: if you come, there's basically a 100% chance that the Radio Demon will do a musical number for you.

((So @autokrates came over for dinner last night, and we decided not to roleplay it out, but we DID write a long semi-pseudo-roleplay summary of how that meeting would have gone, so for any parties who are interested, HERE'S THAT CHAT LOG))

Valera

So! Largely, I believe. Val showing up, a musical number happens, and then ingredient delivery

Alastor

Sounds right.

Then Alastor preps dinner, spends too much time fussing with this Newfangled Modern Machine With Settings And Dials, and they sit staring at a slow cooker for a while.

Valera

Ah yes, nothing like sitting in dead silence waiting for things with someone you don't know! She should have asked Pentious for-- OH YEAH. Slide a pamphlet over. He can busy himself with memorizing that for a little while

Alastor

He absolutely will. And he will politely play showtunes in the background for the benefit of his guest as he reads.

Valera

Ah, just the thing for her to occupy herself with. Quietly stimming by wiggling her fingers and tail to the music

Alastor

He'd probably say thanks for the info but uh why give it to him? (Not that he doesn't WANT it but like, it seems pretty private, he's surprised that Valera—and Sir Pent?—think he's worthy of being let in on where Sir Pentious is this week)

Alastor three days after falling asleep on the floor all tangled up with Sir Pent: haha yeah but it's not like we're CLOSE is it?

Valera

Dumb old men being dumb!!!

Alastor

HE JUST. ASSUMES HE'S WAY MORE INTO THIS THAN SIR PENT...

Valera

Pentious asked her to elaborate to Alastor what was happening, since she's still got a level head and experience with shedding. Which is convenient, because she'd fully intended to anyway. Pentious may want company, and Alastor needs to be prepared.

Alastor

OuO oh so he trusts Alastor that much huh. He will... file that fact away... somewhere in his heart

Valera

Aside from herself, he's the person Pentious trusts most. Casually sips materialized tea.

Alastor

Immediately tries to play it off like HAHA MUST BE A SHORT LIST. ... Which would probably be funnier if not for the fact that, like, it IS a short list.

Valera

She will... Refrain from commenting on the list being Two People long. But she will raise a very deliberate eyebrow at the way he avoids any signs of emotional attachment

Which actually reminds her! She owes him an apology.

Maybe multiple? Whatever.

Alastor

(He might be verbally avoiding signs of emotional attachment but outside of that, like, it's gonna be hard for her not to notice that his attention on the conversation goes from like 75% to 110% the moment Sir Pent comes into it and he drops everything to focus on the Info Pamphlet That Might Be Helpful For Sir Pent)

Genuinely :)? at that, apology for what

Valera

Well, a few things! Pentious shared Alastor's letters with her, which, yes he was asking for input, but it was a bit invasive.

Alastor

Goes from :)? to :]

Valera

And then for, what was it, outing him? The post was taken down, but if Pentious had mixed feelings about it, well. She can't assume how Alastor felt even if she did say it was an Opinion Piece.

Shrug!!

Alastor

Oh THAT? Sure Alastor thinks he saw that go by now that Val mentions it. It's exactly what she said: an opinion piece!!! Why, he's an infamous celebrity! Everyone has an opinion on him and most of them are wrong! He doesn't put much stock in them~

Valera

Regardless! Her bluntness charms some, but it can also be quite inappropriate. She hopes it didn't distress him too much, it was never her intention.

She is a POLITICIAN.

Alastor

Why, he hardly even noticed it.

Valera

Good! Looping back around to her beau, did Alastor have any other questions?

Alastor

... Anything he can send to help out?

(NOW he's all self-conscious, offering to do something NICE. gotta try to be all aloof about it)

Valera

(Wow he really IS like Pentious but Even Worse.. She is amazed.) Send? Oh, no dear fellow. Asking for food today was largely a cover to visit without having Vaggie relay all this information thirdhand. Though he did do quite a fine job of making the food, Pentious will love it.

(assuming, but the Smell)

Alastor

✨💖 Oh will he? That's good. 💖✨

Valera

Yes. Alastor cut the vegetables and meat into the perfect sizes to avoid a texture issue, couldn't have done it better herself. Prr prr

Alastor

(He's like Texture Issue???? but like. He's not gonna ask.)

Valera

She will GLOSS PAST THAT, THEN. Beyond the food, which was a lovely bonus, hmm... No, she's already providing the lotions and voice recordings for Pentious. Unless he's willing to be an in house cheer squad when the snake gets bored and blind, there isn't much he could do.

Alastor

Well, he'd be glad to come over for a visit if it'd lift his spirits—if Sir Pentious would want the visit?

Valera

She expects he will! He's.. Distressed.

Uncomfortable shift. SHE DOESN'T LIKE BEING SO VAGUE.

Alastor

Well now she's got 150% of Alastor's attention.

Valera

Twitchy Tail Time!!! Yes. Well, the pamphlet makes it very dry, but a shed is nothing short of agony. Itchy, painful, it leaves you blind and helpless. If you've already got... experiences with such things. It makes it worse. Pentious is barely into it and he's already ready to attack anything that moves.

Alastor

... Well! Let Alastor know when he can come by.

(He's got trouble wrapping his head around the idea of WANTING company while pained and helpless, but if Valera says he does, then Alastor is going by that)

(... and if Sir Pent gets pissed Alastor came over he's 100% pointing a finger at Val and going "well she said you'd like it")

Valera

(LMAO)

(Val would explain it as wanting a strong person present so you can feel protected and finally relax)

(She's appealed to Pentious' ego with that!!)

Hah! Yes, of course. Though he may need to go to Valera's home, fair warning. She's trying to coax Pentious into laying in her tub to get through this. She's got more equipment to deal with the symptoms, and a larger bathroom by far.

Alastor

Having a near stranger over sounds like something that should worry Valera more than Alastor! For him, it's a bonus.

Valera

OH MAKE NO MISTAKE. VAL'S NOT SURE ABOUT IT

BUT. she's confident Alastor isn't going to do anything dumb in her house

bc Pentious would FLIP SHIT

Alastor

She's already decided that Alastor won't behave himself out of basic decency as a guest or even out of a desire to maybe get invited back but he WILL behave himself solely because Sir Pent is there and he's feeling kind of called out. Called out in his own kitchen, in front of his own crock pot,

Valera

Raises an eyebrow

She's grinning but she shouldn't be when she's acting like a little shit

Alastor

BUT WHAT HE ACTUALLY SAYS IS of course he'll be on his best behavior :) :) :)

WHY IT'S NOT EVERY DAY HE MEETS SOMEONE WITH SUCH FINE TASTE IN THE PERFORMING ARTS, he'd be a fool to be a poor guest

Valera

Glad to hear it! He's been nothing but a perfect gentleman so far, but with the way Pentious rants about other demons, an abundance of caution seems wise. Nothing personal, dear fellow.

Demon culture is very much a mystery to her, and a confusing one at that.

Alastor

COMPLETELY reasonable. After all, everyone is down here for a reason.

Valera

She would agree, if the concept of sin wasn't such an odd one! It comes down to survival of the fittest, at the end. But just because some pompous sky man says he loves you if you follow his contradictory rules, humans are doomed to eternal torment? It's bizarre.

Ah, but excuse her. Her viewpoint is, literally, alien.

Alastor

You make the world, you make the rules. What is the guy powerful enough to give the orders and see that they're obeyed if not "the fittest"? Who has the power to argue if he prints a list of criteria for who he does and doesn't want joining him in his gated community in the sky?

He's told someone tried to argue with him once. And that's how THIS little neighborhood got started.

Valera

Oh, it's not so bad. Heaven is a pretty dull place! All sorts of goody two shoes drinking tea and baking pies in the perfect idyllic weather. Forever.

Alastor

You know, for a time, Alastor used to think that all the "punishment" narratives around Hell were just talk. He had this theory that, actually, humans were sent to the afterlife they were better suited for. The people sent to Heaven are the kind of people who'd LIKE being in Heaven, the people sent to Hell are the kind of people who would be bored stiff in Heaven and just make it miserable for the people who want to be there.

But he was wrong. It really, truly is rotten down here. Not just because of the wilted vegetables and awful weather. Hell grinds at you on a spiritual level. It really is a punishment.

Valera

Well that's.. A lot at once. Vaguely concerned frown.. That she is going to cover with her tea turning to a Nice Dark Coffee. SSSssssssSSSIP.

Alastor

Just thought she might benefit from an insider perspective! She can rest assured: the pie-baking tea-drinkers really are better off.

:) :) :)

Valera

Interesting! She's never spent much time in Hell out of arms reach of Pentious, but that's something to keep in mind for the future.

Alastor

Happy to help~!

Valera

[[ val voice: haha yeah whenever I'm in hell I'm getting doted on but I'll keep an eye out for emotional wear and tear!

Alastor

(It's different for visitors who only come to chat with the convicts)

Valera

(Of course. More for Pentious than herself, she doesn't know a lot of his backstory yet BUT SHE KNOWS ITS SAD)

Now, moving to happier topics! She loves what hes done with the hair. Though it makes him rather fresh faced

Alastor

WHY, THANK YOU!! It was all the rage a hundred years ago! But they do say fashion trends come back around!!

Sir Pentious wasn't as impressed by it, but, hey, can't win them all, can you?

Valera

Ah, don't worry about it. He just takes a bit to come around to change!

... Usually.

Alastor

Well, doesn't matter, he probably won't be keeping it long.

"Usually"?

Valera

She grins!!! Yes, usually. He's remarkably easy to get on board with just about anything if you can relate to something else he likes.

Alastor

Well, naturally! Who isn't?

Valera

The LOOK on her face is like she SUCKED A LEMON.

You'd be surprised.

Alastor

... Apparently so!

he's gone from :) to 8) like what did he just step in

Valera

NOTHING SHE'S GETTING INTO! Now, tell her dear man. What kind of musicals do you like?

Alastor

............... All of them???

Valera

Oh? Everything from Les Mis to Cats?

Anything Goes?

Alastor

Are those the two extremes? Then apparently so! What about you?!

Valera

She has preferences when she's PERFORMING in them, but from an enjoyment perspective, she can appreciate any production.

Alastor

A fan after his own dead heart!

Valera

She can do a MEAN patter song, but she likes being able to dance around while she's belting lines out. Acrobatics are where she can really show off!

Alastor

Well, then he hopes he'll have a chance to see her dancing sooner rather than later! Alastor never received much in the way in formal training in dance, and he's sure it shows, but he likes to think he makes up for it with personality.

Valera

Oh pish posh. Dance is at least fifty percent attitude, he'd be phenomenal on or off the stage. And she can always give pointers, if he's looking for them.

Alastor

He really only does it for his own entertainment—AND for the entertainment of honored guests, of course—but if he ever decides to get back into theater for whatever reason, he'll keep her generous offer in mind.

Valera

Of course! Not like she's going to do a lot of dancing with Pentious here. Her love is many things, but a dancer is not one of them. Snrk snrk.

Alastor

Really. Huh.

So how DID they meet, anyway?? Alastor's been wondering! Hard for sinners to meet many people outside of Hell.

Valera

Oh! Haha, funny story, that. But how much detail does he REALLY want?

Alastor

Well, far be it from him to pry into anything she doesn't think she ought to share, of course. But he wouldn't have asked if he didn't wonder.

Valera

Fair! Alright, well. They met on tumblr, obviously. Pentious was flailing about being combative and intentionally aggressive. You know. Pentious.

Alastor

Naturally.

Valera

She decided to approach him without the immediate hostility so many of her peers were demonstrating. Doesn't everyone deserve a chance to explain themselves, after all? He seemed like he was lashing out, not truly malicious. Nobody had bothered explaining to him that what he did was wrong, or why.

And, you know. If you attack someone, you can't be surprised if they attack you right back. Obviously.

Alastor

Obviously.

Valera

So! Yes. She approached him, asked questions. Asked for his side of things. And they got along just fine! So she invited him over for tea, arguably. But mostly he invited himself over because she made too much tea.

Alastor

So just a chance encounter while adrift among the Internet's airwaves! How serendipitous.

Valera

More or less! Though really, she'd spoken to Alastor more at that point. Other Alastor. He'd been inviting her over to his hell, so she'd likely have met Pentious under very different circumstances if she hadn't approached him then.

But! He came over, and they talked. And they talked a LOT. About their passions, and about how ridiculous people can be these days.

And gods, can they. Then they decided to watch The Mikado! Has he heard of it?

Alastor

Has he heard of it?! One of Gilbert & Sullivan's most renown shows?! Madam! Of course he had!

Valera

Oh good, good good! He continues to impress! So lovely to know there are other people with taste around here. So yes! They watched The Mikado, and it went.. Almost alarmingly well. At the start they were on opposite ends of the couch, and by the end he was sprawled across her lap like he lived there.

Alastor

...... Well!

He warms up to people fast.

Valera

Haha! Perhaps he was simply overly pleased to connect with someone again, and let his guard down? They wound up making out on the couch like a pair of horny teens, so.

Alastor

...... Well!

Valera

Sssssips drink.

Alastor

............ Congratulations! (he has No Idea what you're supposed to say to that)

Valera

Thanks! (She doesn't either) Want to know an incredibly adorable fact about Penny?

Alastor

Sure!!

(he is retaining a Remarkable poker face through all this)

Valera

He likes it when you scratch his hood. Makes him melt in to a happy little pile of scales.

(someone please... Help Alastor....)

Alastor

Ha! Well, isn't that darling.

(The only one who can help Alastor is Alastor himself and he's like "why should I help, what's that bitch ever done for me")

Valera

Very. Should he ever deign to let you try it, the results are best from juuust the very joint of his neck and hood.

(ALASTOR PRACTICE SELF CARE)

Alastor

(FOR THE LAST HALF CENTURY HIS SELF CARE HAS BEEN AVOIDING SEEING/THINKING ABOUT SIR PENT EVER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. He still needs to figure out how to do a self-care that's the opposite of that!)

Duly noted! Alastor's sure it'll never happen, but even so.

Valera

Oh, she isn't so sure! Penny speaks fondly of him.

Alastor

... Hm.

Well, there are different sorts of fondness, aren't there!

Valera

Well, yes of course? She's fond of many people, but she isn't exactly engaged to the vast majority of them. What is his point?

Alastor

That THAT'S the sort of intimacy one usually reserves for someone closer to the "engaged" end of the fondness scale—hold on, engaged??

Valera

Oh? Yes, engaged. Anyway, is it? This must be one of those human things again. There's nothing sexual about enjoying platonic physical contact, there's no reason for it to be relegated to a relationship.

Alastor

Well, what does Alastor know, he's never been a very touchy person. SO, how long have you two been...? Well, probably since before Alastor met either of you, silly question! He just must not have heard.

Valera

Oh, no it's.. Arguably recent? Certainly after he and Pentious started talking. Though don't get too fussed, dear. Pentious has a ring he hasn't lobbed at her yet. They've just agreed to get married, Pentious refers to her as his fiancé. No dates set or anything.

Alastor

Oh, good, so he didn't miss some big announcement. That WOULD have been embarrassing

Valera

He did not! And really, with how he and Pentious get along he might wind up getting asked for advice if a proposal ever actually occurs.

Alastor

... He doesn't know what kind of advice he could offer! He's not known for his expertise in romance, ha.

((suddenly got a flashing glimpse of a possible future where Alastor is the best man, standing like five feet away from Sir Pent trying to hold it together))

Valera

[[ JFDHFKDSHJFKDS HONESTLY.... IT'S LIKELY

Valera

You know, she doesn't think any of them are! Marriage isn't something Veci usually do with aliens, but Pentious insisted he wanted a proper marriage, and kids, and she's not opposed to either if that makes him happy. Though seeing him with the dolls is incredibly endearing.

Alastor

((And I will be FILLED TO THE BRIM with sadistic glee))

The dolls??

Valera

[[ Alastor crying ASMR

Alastor

(("Al are you okay—" "YEAH I'M FINE IT'S JUST. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. ISN'T IT. SO MOVING."))

Valera

Yes! Would you like to hear that story?

Alastor

SURE!!

Valera

Super! So! She doesn't know ALASTOR'S stance on calling women things like sluts and whores, but she herself is.. Not terribly fond of those words. Something about having them screamed at her, just doesn't sit well.

Alastor

One rarely is fond of the words one's been on the receiving end of.

Valera

Indeed. Pentious on the other hand, used them quite freely against any woman he wasn't pleased with.

But! Pentious wants kids someday, and kids are of course, quite perceptive little creatures. And no child of hers is going to grow up internalizing that kind of nonsense, either as a measure of their worth or as something a proper young man calls any lady.

So! She made a few dolls, to demonstrate her point. Pentious wants kids, so she made him some dolls that resemble what his offspring would.

And then hurled abuse at them quite freely!

He didn't take kindly to hearing what random men would call his own daughter, funnily enough.

Alastor

Alastor's like lmao. (IT SEEMS KINDA MEAN AND MEAN THINGS AMUSE HIM... he's half powered by schadenfreude)

Valera

(It WAS mean)

Alastor

And he takes it that worked.

Valera

Pentious can often be found curled up with his little doll family, and he hasn't used a slur since, so! Yes.

Alastor

No surprise there! He is, at his heart, a family man in hibernation, isn't he?

Valera

Not even in hibernation! He's incredibly eager to start a family.

Alastor

Of course. Now that he has the chance. Probably the only man in Hell who does.

Formerly in hibernation, then.

Valera

Can sinners not reproduce?

Alastor

No! Sterile, one and all. The dead do not breed. There are the few rare exceptions who have been supernaturally promoted out of the pool of the damned and made nobility of the same rank as the native Infernal-born or Heaven-fallen demons—Queen Lilith, for instance—but that's not just a thing that HAPPENS. A sinner must be CHOSEN, typically by Lucifer himself. Alastor wouldn't be surprised if it happens less than twice a millennium.

And even at that, to his knowledge these ascendant damned have never bred with each other—only with the Infernal nobility.

Valera

Huh! Fascinating. She really should learn more about the going ons of hell... But good to know! That explains the way Pentious.. Basically went feral as soon as he found out it was possible to have a family.

She's still not sure about the whole "eyes going red" thing, but he's explained it as any peak of emotion.

Alastor

It happens!

... Did you account for the possibility of him being sterile when you promised him a family? Or did you make the promise on the assumption that he's as fertile as any living man?

Valera

Oh, she can reproduce with anyone who has a soul. Pentious IS a damned soul. Ergo...

Alastor

Getting around the usual rules, then! Good. Alastor would so hate to hear if he'd gotten his hopes raised just for them to be dashed again.

Valera

Oh, she was careful to check! Many demons are soulless beings, and she hates to be made a liar of. Though she wasn't even sure poor Pentious even had genitals at the time!

Alastor

Well. Surprise.

Valera

She is Looking Away

Yes... Surprise indeed.

Alastor

He is the picture of :) neutrality

Valera

Val is trying very hard to keep the conversation from going to DARK PLACES. So!!! Subject change time.

Did you and he have fun at your last visit? He tends to give her a summary, but it's nice to hear the other perspective

Alastor

OH. YES. SURE. DELIGHTFUL TIME.

Valera

Oh? Delightful?

Alastor

Yeah, sure! ... Why, did he not think so?

Valera

Oh! He.. Got very drunk. His memories get fuzzy.

Alastor

... Well, that was half of what made it delightful!

Valera

She wouldn't know, but she's very glad to hear it!

Alastor

You abstain? Or not biologically capable?

Valera

Oh, neither. Rarely have the chance to actually relax anymore, too many attempts to murder her over the years. Regicide is very in, you know.

Alastor

Heavy is the head!

Valera

Hah! He can say that again. It's a thankless job. But somebody's got to do it.

Alastor

((I'M RUNNIN OUT OF STEAM... and they chatted about a lot more than I expected, this was productive!! Anywhere else you think we oughta steer the conversation or d'you think it's safe to go And Then They Chatted More, The End))

Valera

[[ NAH I THINK ITS BEEN ESTABLISHED WELL ENOUGH. STEER BACK TO MUSICALS, THEY TALK SHOP, AND THEN WHAM FOOD

[fekst-fucker]

Hey bby autistic reader again (call my phroggy pls) lol can you write headcannons for toby and a gf who goes non verbal sometimes when overstimulated (not nsfw tho👀) and uses sign language to talk, maybe protective toby vibes 👀 she also wears nothing but long overalls and A different colored sweater or shirt everyday and who can sometimes come across super child like and who loves catching frogs and showing them to people even if they dont like them lol thank you bby ❤️❤️

Phroggy omg 🥺 absolutely babe

- Toby LOVES that you just.… catch frogs

- He tries to do it with you but they’re just a little too fast for him :,(

- So to make up for it he goes and buys froggy stim toys! He sewed a little frog patch on his clothes for you 🥺

- He now has your name saved with little froggy emojis bc when he goes all out he! Goes! All! Out!

- if there are creeps who weren’t there to see the super rad frog you caught he’ll take a picture to show them later

- He completely understands being overstimulated, so he’ll take you somewhere quiet if he starts to see you showing signs of being uncomfortable

- If you like being hugged to calm down he’ll do that, if you like your space he’ll sit a few feet away and make sure you’re alright

- He will stand guard at the door if need be, you’ve got your own personal bouncer

- He probably wouldn’t realize that you were trying to communicate via sign language till you told him, but once you did he was super intent on learning it for you!

- All you have to do when you feel nonverbal is tug on his sleeve and give him a tiny signal, maybe pointing to your mouth, signing ‘asl’, he’ll get it and go along with it immediately

- He’ll get very mad at people who demand a response from you when you go nonverbal

- He’s not very good at languages :( but he learned a few basic signals and is a lot better at reading your hands than signing to you

- He created a few key word signals with you that are easy for him to remember, stuff like a motion that means “I need to be taken inside” or “I can’t/don’t want to speak right now” and.… my favorite… “do you need me”

- He really likes using his hands to communicate because he also fidgets so often, so he practices sign language by signing along when he talks

- Overalls? Look cute as hell on this man he will 1000% buy a pair just to match with you

- Sweaters and overalls are THE cutest combo and everyone agrees on this

- Only downside is Toby is always right over your shoulder when someone gives you a compliment ready to be like “she’s mine so back off !”

- They’re like “dude I was just complimenting-“ “you snooze you lose, she’s my girl!”

- He loves childish vibes he is right there with you if you want to act silly, if you wanna go outside and mess around in the dirt looking for more frogs, if you want to wear bright colors, he’s doin’ it with you

- Hope you don’t mind matching with him bc he insists on you wearing some of his clothes so you two can match 🥺🤎

[hollenius]

re neurodivergent headcanons in Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul, I think the first time (a year or so ago) I read something where someone online suggested Chuck was somewhere on the autism spectrum (high functioning/Aspergers), I laughed it off as a ridiculous suggestion, because he didn’t “fit” many of the stereotypical traits seen in other fictional characters or in the popular conception of the topic…but in retrospect, I think that came more from my misunderstanding of the “spectrum” part of it than anything else. It’s definitely a plausible/possible diagnosis comorbid with the anxiety disorder(s) he canonically has.

·         We know Chuck’s a good actor (e.g. his ability to fool Jimmy in “Klick”) and is able to mimic and slip into different sorts of social behaviors (e.g. his ability to social climb from a working class or lower-middle-class family to the world of white shoe law firms), so he’s probably capable of using masking in most public settings. This is apparently a more common trait in autistic women, but men do it as well, if less frequently.

·         Studies asking about the long-term effects of masking seem to imply it takes a physical/emotional/mental toll on the person using it, which might explain why, by the time we see him in BCS, the stress of acting “normal” in meetings and the like, when compounded with the worsening of his anxiety problems, leaves him curled up under a space blanket for hours or even days afterward. Trying to compensate for multiple issues at once is probably even more taxing.

·         He seems prone to getting overwhelmed by things and either shutting down or lashing out in reaction. The most extreme form of the former is when he goes catatonic for hours/days in response to being tazed or put in the CAT scan machine; the most extreme form of the latter is probably him completely losing it and shouting/crying/having to be physically restrained by the hospital staff because he’s so upset about being surrounded by lights/hooked up to an EKG/being recommended for a CAT scan.

·         Contrary to stereotypes, Chuck is decent at reading people (or at least he’s extremely good at reading his brother and knowing how he behaves) and he interacts well with people within a work context, but he doesn’t seem to have any friends outside of it, or much in the way of a social life–the other lawyers hold him in awe as a sort of glorified animate law encyclopedia, rather than someone they would want to hang out with or chat with informally. (Though Chuck doesn’t come across as the sort who would be interested in chit chat with coworkers anyway...) Being totally housebound and cut off from the outside world is upsetting to Chuck primarily because it interferes with his work as a lawyer–we never get the sense that he’s upset about it having any effect on his interpersonal relationships, because he doesn’t seem to have any. This is probably why losing Rebecca hit him so hard. He’s got almost nobody else, besides Jimmy and Howard, and he’s really not emotionally open and unguarded with anyone.

·         He’s got problems dealing with his emotions in general. Even when he’s trying to do his little pain/emotion/medication journal as part of his psychiatric treatment towards the end of season 3, he seems to struggle with articulating his emotional state–he’s just got “average” written down for most of the incidents he’s logged, but he’s not able to write down what his emotion is after he’s unable to sleep after insulting/lying to Jimmy to drive him away for the final time, and he seems to abandon writing in the journal after that & rapidly deteriorates psychologically. From what we see of him in the show, he seems to alternate between being extremely repressed and completely exploding and freaking out.

·         Some people have no interest in having or wanting friends, but I don’t think Chuck’s one of them. He seems pretty lonely. He remarks to Jimmy at one point in season 1 that he doesn’t really mind him hanging around to work on the Sandpiper case in his house because he’s glad for the company, which makes his systematic driving away of Jimmy and the few other people in his life all the sadder. The whole root of Chuck’s jealousy of Jimmy in the first place is that people like Jimmy, and they don’t like him. He makes attempts at being friendly, but struggles to do it on anything deeper than a surface level. (Of course, a lot of Jimmy’s friendliness and charm tends to be pretty shallow too, but I don’t know that Chuck really appreciates that or can tell the difference–all he sees are the results.)

·         He’s tone-deaf with jokes–he famously botches the attempt at a lawyer joke to his wife in the opening flashback in “Rebecca”, but he also makes an awkward attempt at humor when talking to Kim in a present-day scene later in that same episode (“the early bird gets the worm, which is good if you like worms”), which leads to some uncomfortable forced laughter from her. Some people are just serious by nature, but they probably wouldn’t bother trying to make jokes in the first place if that were the case. The fact that Chuck keeps trying to make jokes and failing suggests that there might be some impairment in that area. He sees Jimmy do it, and he sees it work for him, but can’t really manage it himself. (He seems to do ok with deadpan sarcasm though–that comment about young people loving local print journalism is probably my favorite Chuck quote.)

·         He’s very verbal and articulate, but his speech patterns can be a bit odd. He can be indirect and overly formal, which may or may not be an overcompensation for the more stereotypical autistic behavior of being too direct in speech as to be insensitive. He usually winds up still coming off as elitist and assholish anyway, though he may not be intending this/aware of this. When he’s nervous or upset, he tends to devolve into talking at people rather than to them, such as when he starts rambling on about probable cause and assorted legal precedents to the police officers who show up at his house in “Alpine Shepherd Boy”, without noticing that they aren’t even standing at the door anymore. He’s got a lot of information rattling around in his head, which he throws out as a defense, but not always in a way that is helpful; I don’t think talking about Latin translations of the Hippocratic Oath to the doctors sedating him without his consent before sending him in for a CAT scan is doing him any good (NB: the actual Hippocratic Oath is in Greek anyway, and the phrase Primum non nocere dates from a later period, so either Chuck has no idea what he’s talking about, he’s conflating two related things, or he’s freaking out enough that he doesn’t really care at this point).

·         He seems to ignore other people when they’re talking to him altogether if something sets him off or distracts him–when Howard tells him about Kim quitting HHM and teaming up with Jimmy, Chuck immediately tunes him out, to the point where Howard has to ask him if he’s still listening. Chuck says he is, but then walks off in the middle of Howard talking because he’s still distracted by what he said before, sending a confused/concerned Howard following after him. This is at its most extreme when he goes into his rant in “Chicanery” and is totally oblivious to both Galley pleading with him to stop and everybody else in the room staring at him in growing horror/disbelief until he’s far past the point of no return.

·         I’m actually sort of curious about Chuck’s abilities in court prior to the visible deterioration of his mental health, because although he clearly knows a lot about the law, his personality is a bit off-putting. I don’t know if he just sort of brute-forced his way through things because of his knowledge of obscure case law, because based on what I know from the lawyers I’m friends with, there are all sorts of subjective factors that can come into play in a court setting. The sort of things that would drive someone like Chuck nuts, like jurors who deliberately choose to ignore evidence because they’ve decided in advance that they don’t want to convict someone of a crime. (To be fair, this would also drive me completely insane, because I have a really hard time at my own job dealing with people who think the rules shouldn’t apply to them for various reasons.)

·         Chuck has an EXTREMELY black and white view of the world, and a sort of obsession with the authority of law and the importance of following the rules. He’s got really strong perfectionist tendencies within himself. I think a lot of why he gravitates toward the law is that he seems to find all the rules and procedures comforting, in a way--there’s a uniformity to the way the legal world works, and a framework in which everything proceeds--constraints which are equally binding on all participants.

·         Maybe he just knows a ton about the law because he’s a lawyer, but it might also fall into the case of it being a special interest, since his knowledge of obscure case law seems to be regarded as extensive and superlative even by other lawyers. (He reads FEC and ISO reports for fun!)

·         There’s something slightly elliptical about his thinking, and he doesn’t seem to realize that other people aren’t following his thought patterns. (He repeats his “One after Magna Carta!” justification for knowing the Mesa Verde address to Kim and Jimmy  in season 2 as well as to the officials from the Bar in season 3, which seems to suggest that he thinks it is a very obvious and logical connection that other people should grasp, though I’m not sure that it actually is outside of his head.)

·         I’m not entirely sure where the line between nervous tics and stimming is drawn, but he’s got a lot of little fidgety behaviors that come out especially when he’s stressed, especially scratching or shaking or wringing his hands. (The script to “Chicanery” indicates that he’s nearly drawing blood from digging into his hands while on his big rant, but it’s not visible onscreen because we’ve got that wonderful/agonizing slow zoom onto his face instead.) It's not clear if it predates the EHS or not. Sometimes there’s a clear tie in his behavior to perceived pain from electricity, but sometimes there’s not--sometimes it seems to result from him trying to distract himself from the electricity instead, like when he’s trying to stand outside the house for two minutes in “Bingo”. Sometimes he does it while he’s standing around in his house, thinking about something else, like while rehearsing arguments against Jimmy before he heads in to court in “Chicanery”.

·         There’s a pretty strong preference for routine/predictability & distress when it’s altered. (Most people probably would not get so suspicious if a single newspaper wasn’t delivered one day, for example. If it was repeated or frequent or a pattern, yes, but not for a single paper.) His control issues are brought up pretty frequently in fandom discussions; maybe he’s a jerk, maybe he’s just not able to function well in unpredictable situations, maybe it’s a little of both (e.g. Chuck being really bothered by Ernie bringing him the wrong kind of apples, then saying that it didn’t really bother him that much...but then telling Ernie to write it down so that he would get the right apple the next time, indicating that he actually WAS bothered by it)

·         It’s possible his perceived sensitivity to electricity grew out of an existing natural sensitivity or aversion to extremes in light or sound or anything else, but this is pure conjecture because we get so few flashback scenes. (Speaking only from personal experience, I don’t think I’m hurt by electricity, but I can hear lights when they’re turned on, and get uncomfortable/anxious under certain types of light, like fluorescents in big box stores when out shopping, so maybe someone who’s more sensitive to sensory things in general might be more prone to developing a sort of learned distress out of that.)

All of this is very inconclusive! But it’s totally plausible as a reading of the character.

[translightyagami]

33, 37, 42 + 44 for lawlight!

What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?

light doesn’t get L a lot of presents. if something doesn’t benefit him, he doesn’t rlly think abt it and what will a gift do for him in the long run? he’s already got L as a boyfriend so what else does he need to gain? but if he sees something that just feels very L he’ll pick it up. like one time he found a rlly nice set of notebooks and wrote out a long note to go along with it.

L drops a lot of presents on light but they r all things that he wants light to try. like he’ll give him a bunch of CDs and call it a present even tho its just him trying to get light to listen to pink floyd. he just wants them to b able to talk abt those things bc light is always very insightful in his commentary and idk. i feel like L enjoys when they hv discussions. he likes to unpack things w light.

they rlly don’t adhere to holidays. tbh they usually forget. gifts r more like a little thing they drop on each other like kiss on the forehead.

How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?

at the beginning they would sell each other to satan for one corn chip but over time they grow more and more fond of each other. they start to realize what’s worth something in the other and covet those things.

part of me wants to say light wouldn’t extend himself super far for literally anyone but then again....he rlly rlly loves L. i think that, given a severe enough situation, he’d put himself in danger for L. superficial stuff tho, he doesn’t care. light comes first for light. and honestly its the same for L. they’d lay down for each other in dire circumstances but something like.....light wanting to go somewhere nice for his birthday but it coinciding with like a skype that L is hving w the police in moscow....L’s not gonna step down and cancel just bc light wants to hv a special night.

lines that L can’t cross with light: anything abt his dad, handcuffs and kira.

lines light can’t cross with L: watari, the way he stands and when he stims with his sweets (re: stacking, breaking or organizing them while he is talking or being talked to)

Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?

for the first part of their relationship, no. they’d call each other on every single misstep and act like they won the world championship at arguments. slowly, tho, light stops pointing out when L leaves crumbs in the bed and just starts sweeping them off without comment. and L notices that and stops making snide comments when light makes weirdly loud humming noises when he writes notes. they won’t let each other....get away with things....but its more like they accept that even if they act like assholes to each other, that won’t change the other person’s behavior.

Are they comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?

they are incredibly comfortable around each other. as two ppl who are very fake in their day to day lives, L and light r open in their personalities around each other. they don’t hide their flaws or annoying personality traits bc, on some deep level, they know the other person still likes them despite those uglier parts.

light needs privacy when he reads. if L is in the room, he gets distracted bc he wants to talk bc light can’t see another person without desperately wanting them to know his every thought. L doesn’t hv a huge need for privacy so much as he likes solitude and has learned that he needs to verbally tell light this otherwise light will just walk into the room to tell L all abt this great grapefruit he just ate. in the beginning of their relationship they were super adamant abt privacy in the bathroom but now light will just b like “i gotta go poop” and leave the door open so that L can keep reading off possible suspects.

[enter-the-phantom]

Ngl, this one made me cry a little bit and I’m gonna throw some of my self-indulgent support headcanons here if that’s okay bc I actually feel safe being comfortable with my autism here

-For one thing I headcanon both Snape’s also having Asperger’s so it’s a thing with him already. I have a lot of headcanons for this that I’ll share if anyone wants to hear them!

-Severus’s eyes just light up when I do The Happy Hands™. I don’t know why but he thinks it’s the purest thing and I always catch him smiling if he sees me do it. He’ll give me meaningful little presents just to watch me happy fist-pump (I don’t flap, I do something similar with my hands closed into fists since flapping hurts my wrists. It’s the same emotional release without the discomfort). Like the first time he saw me doing it, I didn’t have to explain myself, he just knew and was like “Omg. Cute. Too cute. I’d do anything to see you that happy again. It’s contagious, even for me.”

-When we were in school he and Loki would put up sound barriers at mealtimes so I didn’t have to hear the auditory hell that was the Great Hall.

-Loki always was very considerate with my texture aversions whenever he made us dinner. He’d make my samefood with no complaints and would find little ways to spice up even the simplest meals so I could still have something special while fixated on one meal.

-James does little things for me like brushing my hair and painting my nails that I have trouble doing due to my motor planning/processing disorder. Loki also washes my hair a lot since I have trouble doing it.

-Metatron lets me pet his wings as a form of stimming after a long day and it’s the best thing ever.

-Hans will throw ridiculous amounts of money at my specialty care without a thought and it’s embarrassing and kind of sweet. Noise cancelling headphones? Have this shooting-range quality wireless headset. Suit lining too itchy? That’s okay, I’ll pay to have the entire thing completely relined in your favourite soft satin. Lights at his place too bright? Dimmer switches, in every room. Nothing is too much to ask and he goes overboard just because he can.

-Loki will shapeshift into me and use my voice for phone calls when it’s a doctor or someone who’s being difficult so I don’t have to speak over the phone while trying to verbally process.

-Billy makes sure his lab is sensory-friendly for me, even though it makes it a little harder on him, and never complains, because “we’re partners. That means working together. Also I love you, so that’s that.”

-Makoto helps me tailor all my clothes, especially my dresses, to where they fit my annoyingly small proportions and doesn’t make disparaging remarks about it that make me feel guilty. When we go shopping together she’s super mindful of my financial anxiety (which thanks to Loki isn’t relevant anyway) and helps me talk to employees and ask for what I need. She also shoots dirty looks at anyone who rolls their eyes when I ask to have the XS taken off the mannequin.

Plus none of my f/o’s ever make me feel bad for things like needing transportation because I can’t drive or taking a while to get my words in order and sitting in silence while I think. They’re just the best ever.

I have so many more of these and they get me through the day when the world and my family is being ableist af. 💕

A little message to my self shipping friends with autism! 💗

Your F/O? Absolutely adores you.

Your F/O never gets annoyed hearing about your hyperfixation! It doesn’t matter what it is, they want you to share it with them from sun up to sun down because it makes your eyes light up and they just think you are so beautiful when you’re happy. Sometimes after you go to bed they stay up to read more about what interests you so that they’re able to talk to you more about it.

Your F/O might be curious the first time they see you stim, but after you explain to them why you do it they understand it completely, and they do their best to give you that freedom to express yourself! Whether that means doing it with you so you don’t feel alone or standing close to you and intimidating anybody that even thinks about giving you a hard time. Sometimes you’ll find new stim toys on your bed or counter when you get home with little notes that say things like ‘saw it and thought of you’ or ‘because you said you wanted one!’ and they’re always signed with hearts. 

More than anything, your F/O wants you to be comfortable. If they know you hate a certain sound, they’ll make sure you don’t have to hear it. If it’s the sound of the blow dryer they’ll make sure they close the door when they dry their hair. If it’s the vacuum they’ll make sure to do that part of the cleaning when you’re out of the house. If they know you hate a certain texture they’ll keep that away from you so you don’t have to feel it. They’ll make sure all your blankets are the right fabric. They’ll take you to the beach but they’ll give you a piggy back to the water so you don’t have to get the sand in your clothes. 

If they notice that you’re overwhelmed they’ll do their best to take away the stimulant that’s causing it. If you’re around too many people they’ll find a quiet corner to take you and if you feel bad for leaving a situation they’ll make up an excuse that makes it sound like they’re the reason you need to go. They start carrying ear plugs with them in case you want them. They start cooking more to learn how to make the foods you like and they know exactly what to order for you when they’re picking up take-out. They’re sure to ask for consent before touching you in any manner to make sure you actually want it. They don’t think it’s rude if you have a hard time conversing or making eye contact. 

Your F/O loves you exactly the way that you are. You make them want to be better, they want to take care of you, to protect you, to make you feel as special as you make them feel. You’re amazing and they are SO lucky to have you! 

[stim-river]

So...today has been interesting 

tw for talk of mental health n this rant in general

Basically I got an email from my school’s vp for title IX. If you don’t know what it is and anyone’s actually reading it’s basically  title nine which addresses gender discrimination, sexual harassment, things like that. 

Anyway she emailed me asking to meet and I know her bc I’ve worked with her kids before so I was kind of thrown off bc she said to call and I hate phone calls plus she didn’t say what it was about. So I was putting it off as per my usual and then she called me asking if then was a good time to talk or if I would rather come in. Of course I opted to go into her office to meet especially bc at the time she called I was overwhelmed with being locked out of a friend’s car in a very loud parking lot / area. So anyway let’s skip ahead to when I finally made it to her office...

And I find out that some professor of mine told the dean of academics to do a wellness check on me...which then got sent to the title nine vp because I’m openly trans on campus. So I’m obviously even more thrown off bc she’s asking why I chose this school, about my personal life, about my family, stuff like that and then she jumps to the point of how someone was concerned about me and wanted to check in with me. 

The entire process is anonymous so I don’t get to know who is concerned or why just that they are which makes me all kinds of anxious bc I don’t know who or why this came up. And even she asked me why I thought someone might be concerned and in the back of my head all I could think was that I’ve been stimming more in public and I’m very quiet in classes bc I don’t have friends in most of my classes and I prefer to (in my studio classes when we get free time) to just put on my headphones and do my thing. And she was saying how she doesn’t understand why people automatically assume that bc someone is more quiet in large public spaces it means that they are in a bad mental place (can you tell i’m so bad at explaining this). Don’t get me wrong this is sometimes the case but that’s also just some people’s personality

I know for me I’m more quiet in large public places where I don’t know anyone or aren’t comfortable with them. When I’m around my close friends I’m super talkative (unless i’m in a semi non verbal space which happens sometimes when i’m low on spoons). Anyway it’s more so my personality so I find it frustrating that someone misconstrued this and I honestly would rather have my profs, whoever it is bc I’m close to most of them, just talk to me themselves vs bringing it up to other people and now having this whole situation occur. I dunno like I appreciate that they care and went to this level but at the same time it totally took me off guard bc I feel like I’m finally in a  really stable place and it just sucks I guess that it doesn’t come off that way to other people and that they see my being quiet, stimming and keeping to myself in class as a sign for help when that’s more so me trying to keep my focus and pay attention and such. 

And of course after the fact something else I thought of is that I have eczema and sometimes that comes off the wrong way like I might have red spots and small cuts from that and they can also be misconstrued and like if it’s something like that then that’s also frustrating bc like...I’ve had eczema my entire life so...

I don’t know if any of this makes sense but I just needed to get it all out of my system I guess. The meeting itself turned around after I expressed that my life in general here is pretty comfortable and content and that I do have a social life and such. She still seems a little concerned and told me about a bunch of resources and such. In the end tho she showed me quilts her mom made for her two daughters and told me how she’s expecting a baby boy by the end of the year and asking how I chose my name and stuff which was cool at least 

[autisticspecialeducator]

This is actually a really good question and one that I have often. I'm worried about stuff like this too. I'm not a teacher yet, but I do have teaching and childcare experience, and I have some strategies I've used.

Note: I don't go nonverbal, so these tips are largely for sensory overload and energy management. If there are any semi-verbal teachers our there, we'd love your input.

1. Have backup lesson plans that lower effort on your part. Review games, group discussions, work days, things like that. Those ones tend to be quiet and easier to manage on low-energy days.

2. Setup quick classroom management shortcuts ahead of time. Stuff like "if you can hear the sound of my voice, clap once/clap twice," until the class is quiet, or some sort of routine dialogue or motion that the kids know means "Settle down.". This will be HUGE on low-energy days. They helped me a lot when I felt overloaded in classrooms. If you have some sort of movement-activated routine, that can be useful for when you're nonverbal (for example, when they see you raise your hand, they raise theirs and stop talking).

3. I carry my stim jewelry on me at all times. I brought comfort objects with me too, and I'd teach the kids not to touch them.

4. Also, you absolutely can stim in front of kids. I do. I haven't for very long, but they typically just ask "Why are you tapping your chest?" And I teach them about stimming. What sort of stimming you're comfortable doing as an authorities figure is up to you.

4. When all else fails, don't be afraid to call in sick. It's not ideal, but neither is teaching and working with kids when you're already off.

I think it's okay to be visibly autistic or disabled in front of kids, especially as an authority figure. It teaches them to respect a wide range of people. And in my experience, they get it, if you explain it.

Also, we're not going to be perfect teachers, especially in the beginning. This goes for any neurotype. We're going to experiment and see what works and see what doesn't. It's okay. It's how every teacher is, and we shouldn't be held to a perfect standard bc we're autistic.

But I'm just one teacher. I hope more teachers see this and add some insight!

:/

What an I going to do when I'm a teacher if I'm having a bad day? I mean... If I wake up nonverbal or if something happens and I'm in sensory overload or something happens and I start to shutdown?

In all seriousness. I'm less then a year (if things go as planned) to having my teaching degree. And I'm worried about it. I can't stim in front of my class and I can't be non-verbal and I can't have an anxiety attack and I can't shut down.

What do people do? Any suggestions? Ideas? Thoughts at all?